Tree Time

Got my Christmas tree looking like a Christmas tree should: nice and tacky. There are two things a Christmas tree can never have too much of. The first is color. Lots of color. Bright, shiny, gaudy, vivid, hallucinating color. The second is tinsel. I don't need to defend tinsel. My thanks go out to Lydia for helping put the tree up, and together. My tree is about as plastic as the star on top of it. But I love her all the same.

have YOU met TACKY Sanata

i found Tacky Santa on the
Christmas tree upstairs.

pink and purple,
covered in flowers,
with some ruffles,
and plenty of sparkles.

i just couldn't let him
stay up on the tree.
that would have been
wrong.

now he lives on my bookshelf.

Am I Loosing My Fashion Sense?

What's wrong with fusia leotards?

Going Gently into that Good Night

Tomorrow i write my last university paper.

The Introspective Spiral

A friend of mine recently wrote a post talking, among other things, about trees. This of course led me deep into thought and ultimately to the ultimate question: "If I Were a Tree What Tree Would I Be?" You can imagine the introspective spiral that followed.

My personal answer to that question is the Weeping Willow.

But I decided to do some research into the matter courtesy of Google.

One web test confirmed my own intuition. At first I was a little concerned about the site's assessment of the Willow (and my personality): "You are a Weeping Willow. You are a huge crybaby and no one likes you. Everybody wishes you would go away and leave them alone." But upon reflection I realized this was impossible. I could think of at least 3 people who had never told me to go away and leave them alone. I also realized that whatever answers you gave the quiz told you the exact same thing. Slightly suspicious.

Back to the drawing board...

I found another sight which tells you what tree you are based on your date of birth. Because I was born between September 3rd and 12th I am in fact... A Weeping Willow! Normally I do not approve of such random, arbitrary systems of ascription. But I approve of things I find flattering. Check this out:

Weeping Willow (the Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh.

That sounds close enough to me in a vague, interpret yourself into it, selective reading kind of way. Except for the negative qualities. Those don't apply. Demanding? I don't think so.

So in conclusion I am a Willow. And if I fell in the forest and no one was around I would make a lot of noise and curse my friends for abandoning me. And I would still like to know why the sky is blue.

Fear and Trembling

It's past midnight, which means today is officially the day I'm speaking at Church. I feel like I have bitten off more than I can chew and I'm nervous about fitting everything in without rushing through anything. To be clear and complete: that is what's hardest of all. I still need to tweak a few things. But I've said my prayers, and know there are a lot of dear souls praying for me. I trust in God. I believe there is a reason for all happenings, even those as seemingly ludicrous as me addressing a congregation. A lot of good people have given me a lot of good advice. I have received some very supportive last minute phone calls and I am so grateful to those people and to God for those people. In less than twenty four hours I'm sure I will be elated, but the next eighteen hours will be psychological torture and I really ought to sleep. It is just hard to sleep with all this fear and trembling. And how did this all happened anyway?

Psalm 55: 4-8
My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
Fear and trembling come upon me,
and horror overwhelms me.
And I say, "Oh, that I had wings like a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest;
yes, I would wander far away;
I would lodge in the wilderness;
I would hurry to find a shelter
from the raging wind and tempest."

Something Rotten in the State of Minnesota

Who is Goldy Gopher? The simple answer to the question is that since 1952 Goldy has been the mascot of the University of Minnesota. Goldy appears at more than 1000 events every year, including virtually every university home game. In 2004 Goldy made the Capital One All-American Mascot Team. He has also competed in the UCA Mascot National Championships for years, regularly making the top 10. In 2005 Goldy had his best year to date, placing 3rd in the country. Goldy is not only the mascot of the University of Minnesota, but represents all of Minnesota which is known as the “Gopher State.”

But do we really know who Goldy Gopher is? Can we even be sure Goldy is in fact a gopher? In a recent comparison study done between Goldy and several members of the rodent family, including the gopher, it was concluded that Goldy in fact bears the least resemblance to the gopher. An apparent hybrid between a squirrel and beaver, it is impossible to tell exactly what Goldy is. Perhaps this is because the artist who first drew Goldy did not even know what a gopher looks like.

Goldy has long prided himself on his ties to the community and family connection to the State of Minnesota. He often boasts that most of his family still resides at the State Fair. However, when asked to comment on Goldy’s ambiguous origins his family was completely silent on the issue. What is one to make of such defensive posturing?

Goldy may have made it close to the very top of the mascot profession, but by what means and at what cost? In a society that places value on success at any cost Goldy has sacrificed everything in his bid for mascot supremacy, even his own identity. It is time we recognize that the ends do not always justify the means. Can we really allow this gopher to represent the mascots of an entire nation?

This message supported by the Bucky Badger for UCA Mascot of the Year campaign.

Missing my Grandad

Today was the Army AirForce football game. My dad and I decided to root for the AirForce since my grandad served in the RAF during WWII. Talking with my dad I learned a few new things about my grandad. Apparently he wasn't a tail-gunner, which I had always assumed. He was actually a gun and bomb technician. It was his job to adjust the fairing rate on guns and the aiming systems of bombers. This brought up the issue of his capture. After all, how do you get captured if you are a technician? It seems my grandad got board working on bombers, so he volunteered to do some bomb drops. It was on one of these missions that he got shot down. It is nice knowing that my grandad was a brave man. He passed away when I was eleven, so I don’t have very many memories of him. All I do remember is a friendly old man who loved to work in his garden and never stopped smiling. It is nice being able to think of him in a different context: as a soldier signing up for a dangerous mission and as a survivor of the Burmese death camps. Incidentally AirForce beat Army 43-7. I doubt my grandad would have cared, but I was happy.

Determinism: Bound to be Funny

Today I managed to make my philosophy professor laugh. We were studying David Lewis who argues that freedom and determinism are compatible. For most of the class I felt like I could not wrap my head around his theory. As far as I could understand he was arguing that we have freewill even though we are casually determined because if the laws of physics were different we would be ‘able to do otherwise.’ I assumed I was just not getting something because it all seemed so ridiculous. After class I went up to my professor and told her what my understanding of the theory was. I asked her if I was missing out on anything. Amazingly I wasn’t. I then asked the obvious question: so his definition of freewill is the ability to be determined differently if the laws of physics change? She just laughed and nodded. Talk about a meaningless argument.

Happy Birthday Shaniah!

Today is Shaniah’s birthday.

Happy birthday to you Shaniah!!

In honor of your birthday I am putting up the cover of my birthday card from you, since it is pretty much the funniest thing that ever was.

I hope you have an excellent birthday.

And remember, it doesn’t matter how old you get, only how old you look, so time is definitely on your side.

Feelin' Kind-a 1984ish

I managed to find my own blog through Google.
You know what this measn don't you?
I need to do a better job of covering my tracks!
They're on to me...

No way am I bloging in Newspeak!
double plus yuck

(If you got that last referance in a small way you are my hero!)

"Freedom is the right to say 2+2=4. Once that is granted, all else follows.”
-George Orwell

SWEET!

Check it out, a bunch of my buddies got together and got me these for my birthday. Only problem is they doesn't work, so Andy Mac has to return them to the store. However, when I finally do get a working model it will be SWEET! I have wanted decent computer speakers ever since I got my new mac. Basically I have abandoned my CD player. Everything goes onto and is then played through my computer. This is especially convenient since my computer came with a nifty little remote. Only draw back is the sound isn't what I would like it to be. Can't wait till I have these bad boys hooked up. You just can't listen to music without a sub-woofer! It's just wrong on so many levels.

Growing Up Fast

Rooney went to the vet’s today for his last batch of shots, so he is now fully immunized. They weighed him and he’s up to 34.6 pounds. Not bad for a 3 and half month old. Every one at the vets office was impressed with how big he’s gotten. Also, I took him for a walk the other day and he sniffed his first fire hydrant! My puppy is growing up!!! Next thing you know he will be marking those hydrants and I will be so proud. He’s getting pretty good at sitting and lying down when he’s told to and he’s even starting to learn to stay. I can’t wait till the spring when he will be big enough to go for long walks down by the ravine. Even his bark is starting to change. He’s becoming scary! But he is still such a baby. It’s sad to think, the next time he goes to the vets will be for... well... its just too sad to say. Won’t be long till my puppy is a dog. Its hard being an owner.

A Reasonable Request

I have a request to make, though i am not entirely sure who i am addressing it to. perhaps ideally to the entire non-Christian world, though i know how hopelessly large an audience that is. i also realize how isolated my bare expression is. but i have faith and i have hope and i am will to shout into the void, immeasurable it may seem. i wish to see every individual who does not know the Bible read the Bible and attempt a genuine understanding of it. in many ways this seems an impossible request. the literacy rate alone is a tremendous barrier. however we should already be attempting to combat illiteracy as is. beyond the technical aspects is this such an unreasonable thing to ask? that a thinking reasoning being somewhere within their many years of experience contemplate what is in all probability the most influential book ever written? if we as a society have not completely abandoned the quest for meaning then i think there can be nothing more reasonable. the Bible has changed the course of history as has no other book. millions have believed and believe it to be the divinely revealed perfect and complete Word of God. in many ways Christianity is the most controversial religion in our present age. certainly it is the religion most adversarially opposed by and opposed to the pluralism being cultivated by society at large. does it not make sense to know where one truly stands both past present and future in relation to the Good Book?

i realize that this is a large issue. too large to take on all at once in one blog entry. but i intend to come back to it. to explore more fully the logic and implications of such a request and to further clarify just what is it i am asking. but please, in the mean time comment. i want to know, does what i ask sound reasonable so far? or am i simply speaking meaningless bare ignorant dribble?

A Note on Note Taking

If you have ever sat next to me in class you have probably notice that i don't take many notes. In fact in some classes i don't take notes at all. Especially in English courses (which means most of my courses). I just don't find notes helpful. When I go over them I usually remember most of the stuff and the stuff I don't remember seems pretty useless. I guess part of the reason for this is the fact that almost all my test have been long essay format: 1 question, 3 hours to answer it. But recently I absolutely had to take notes as part of a philosophy essay. The teacher made us hand them in with our assignment to prove we did prep work... so i did prep work in order to prove i did prep work... doesn't that sound futile? Anyway, my notes did actually prove to be helpful. Somehow they managed to morph into an argument as I wrote them and next thing i knew i had an argument for my paper! I am so happy with my notes I just have to post them. I even think they look nice on the page, despite my sloppy hand writing. Please forgive the many miss spellings and botched grammar. Even my syntax is sometimes wrong but, well, they're only notes. Wow, who no, this could be the beginning of a new, more studious me... just in time to graduate.

My Annoying Dog

Basically from the moment he was big enough to climb onto it my dog Rooney has taken my bed over. He sleeps there whenever he wants, which is pretty much all day long. In case you don't know, growing puppies sleep, eat and poop a lot. At first it was just plain cute, but now its becoming a bit menacing for two reasons: 1) he keeps dragging dirt and grime onto my bed, 2) as he gets bigger and bigger he takes up more and more space. Anyone who has ever shared a bed with me knows I like to spread out (right Josh) and the dog is getting in the way. This is gonna be impossible when he reaches full size. Imagine sharing a bed with a 100 pound monster who also happens to snore really really loud. But, for now he is still cute enough that I let him get away with it.

Squirrel Heaven

PTL

After two nights in the African Jungle Byron and Graydon have managed to find their way back to civilization. They stumbled upon a highway which they were able to fallow to a hotel. Currently they are resting and relaxing at the hotel, waiting for their fellow missionaries to come and pick them up. As we breathing a collective sigh of relief let us not forget to praise and thank the everlasting God who lead them through this life threatening ordeal.

Psalm 7:10
My shield is with God,who saves the upright in heart.

A Very Serious Post: Please Read

I received a very unsettling email from Campus for Christ tonight. It seems that Graydon Baker and Byron Bright, who have been serving as long-term missionaries in Tanzania, have become lost in the African jungle. They went for a hike Sunday afternoon, accompanied by a guide. When the guide headed-back early Graydon and Byron decided to press on without him. They have a cell phone with them and have been able to call for help but, as they do not know their exact location, rescue attempts have been difficult. Already they have been out in the wild for two days; their food and water have run out.

If you see this posting, please pray for Graydon and Byron and that the Lord would be with them as a pillar for strength. Let us be optimistic and pray that through this ordeal Graydon and Byron’s faith would be strengthened. Let us even pray for all those lives in Tanzania who still need to hear the Gospel and need witnesses such as Graydon and Byron to bring the Lord’s word to them. Let us pray and remember above all that none of this, no nothing at all, is ever above the might and power of our God who can work all for good and for His glory.

Daniel 6:25-28
Then King Darius wrote to all the peoples, nations, and languages that dwell in all the earth: "Peace be multiplied to you. I make a decree, that in all my royal dominion people are to tremble and fear before the God of Daniel,

for he is the living God,
enduring forever;
his kingdom shall never be destroyed,
and his dominion shall be to the end.
He delivers and rescues;
he works signs and wonders
in heaven and on earth,
he who has saved Daniel
from the power of the lions."

So this Daniel prospered during the reign of Darius and the reign of Cyrus the Persian.

Old School Gangsta'

Most people know Anton Chekhov only for his tremendous contributions to to the theatre and the short story. His technique of literary impressions was a total and spontaneous innovation, setting him entirely apart from his contemporaries, such as Tolstoy and Gorky. While others moralized, preached and judged, Chekhov simply sought to represent the complex inner lives of his characters, exploring humanity through the most subtle and delicate of outward expressions. Few, however, realize just how much Chekhov contributed to the world of fashion. As can be seen by this picture, taken over a hundred years ago, Chekhov may very well have been the first man in history to have popped his collar. While much scholarly debate still surrounds the subject, one can still clearly deduce from the picture that Chekhov was one of the earliest innovators of “gangsta” style. His well established introduction of the ghetto walking stick is in itself a significant break-thought and a good indication of why communist Russia excelled the west in krunk for so long.

“Man is what he believes” - Anton Chekhov

Nice Day

today was a nice day. i went downtown and hung out with andrew mckenzie and my little sister lydia low. we walked around and had lunch on the back patio of a swanky little restaurant. i had a tuna salad sandwich on rye and vegetable soup which is about as good as lunch gets in my world. after that we stopped into a cute little bakery; andrew and lydia bought some cookies. lydia got shortbread cookies decorated to look like little birds and andrew got chocolate chip granola. then we stopped by my favorite coffee shop in the world, though for the life of me i can’t remember its name. we drank our java on some benches along the street and people watched. andrew had to head back to york, but lydia and i visited my favorite book store, “Elliot's.” There I found a beautiful gem of a book. a rare, limited publication which hasn’t been printed in 20 years. at first i wanted it for myself, but then i decided i would rather give it to a dear and lovely friend. so i cannot say what it is, since i have to keep it a secret for awhile. even my subway ride home was a joy; i read checkhov all the way. my mom made ribs for dinner. i had a terrific jog. the weather was so chilly i finally got to wear my new jogging jacket. then i lifted some weights with my dad. i even played with my puppy. now, to cap it all off i’m going to read the Good Book and then, Lord willing, have a good night.

The Days of My Life

The days seem busy these days.

Saturday past was my church’s college and careers Bible study which i hosted in my basement. The study itself was good, though crowded. My dog was the center of attention all night long. Even when he finally fell asleep he snored louder than most people talk. I ended up spending a lot of time cooking that day. But it was worth it and my mini pizzas were a whopping hit. the secret is to use english-muffins for the crust: quick and tasty!
Sunday was, well, sunday, which means lots of time at church. Fortunately it wasn’t my turn to teach sunday school; I only had to monitor and supervise which is good seeing as I didn’t get much sleep after cleaning up from the Bible study. In between church services I watched the Packers loose - yet again - with Danny and Tim. By the time evening service finished and the day was over I felt near catatonic, which probably explains my dangerous driving coming come. Some guy tried to cut me off and I virtually drag-raced him. It was dumb, but I can’t stand rude drivers and, like I said, I was zonked.
Today I had to go into campus early and line up for a ridiculously long time to get a ridiculously rare book for my Checkhov course. I then spent a good chunk for the morning reading said book before going to class. But hey, reading Checkhov is a joy so I’m not complaining about that. My class, however, is a different matter. I won’t go into tedious details about it when the fact is the class is just plain tedious. But I did get to finish off my day on campus by hanging with the amazingly cool Andrea Morel for a bit. Poor Drea, she has a 7.5 hour gap in between her monday classes. Unreal!
Tomorrow I have Philosophy class in the morning and then the bulk of my day will go into getting ready for the youth group thing I’m supposed to lead at church in the evening. It’s off the hook man! I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. The leader’s manual they promised me hasn’t come in yet, so I’m gonna have to make everything up from scratch. Then, in the evening, I have to go and actually make this joint happen. Shouldn’t be a problem. I have faith. Still, who wants to look like a dunce in front of a group on teenagers?
Wednesday upcoming, a day of rest perhaps. More likely an opportunity to prepare for sunday school, do some course readings and research, and meditate on a talk I am preparing for the not too distant future. But the evening will be bliss. Coffee downtown with my adopted little sister lydia low! Who knows, we may even crash into some used book stores. Oh life is so very good!
Thursday upcoming, philosophy in the morning, a world of possibilities in the evening.
Friday upcoming, anyone want to go see a movie? Give me a call!

My Aunt Nina is soo nice. I got a hand made post card from her today. The card is not made of paper, its actually sown together out of fabric. All the pictures on the front are actually stitched on! How cool as that? Thanks a bunch Aunt Nina for making my day with such a thoughtful gift.

With Age Comes Wisdome

A week has past since my birthday and i would like to think that with the passing of time I have gown in wisdome and experience. So here are the Top 10 things I have learned in my 24th year of existence thus far:

10. I have really great friends.
9. Determinism and Indeterminism are equally incompatible with most people’s concept of freewill.
8. Just because your Mac is PC compatible doesn’t mean people’s PCs are Mac compatible.
7. I don’t like it when OTHER people talk during movies.
6. Its easy to choose between church and football when your team sucks as bad as the Packers.
5. When you jog in the rain your sweat gets washed into your eyes and it hurts.
4. The word poo is always funny.
3. If you are going to be teaching Sunday School don’t throw a party saturday night.
2. If it seems like your puppy is being really quiet... too quiet... its probably because he’s eating your ipod headphones.
1. When someone is golfing, give them their space.

So It Goes

I feel old

An Evening with GM Hopkins

How do I introduce GM Hopkins? The man deserves so much acclaim, more than I can give, so I will be brief. Hopkins was a poet and a Christian. He wrote about God and did so beautifully. To miss out on his work is a true shame for the believer, for never outside of the Bible have I heard God more beautifully exalted. It is also if note that Hopkins is widely regarded as one of the greatest and most influential poets of the modernist era. Here, then, is a short sampling of his work. Enjoy

As Kingfishers Catch Fire

As king fishers catch fire, dragonflies draw flame;
As tumbled over rim in roundy wells
Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell's
Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves -- goes itself; myself it speaks and spells,
Crying What I do is me: for that I came.

I say more: the just man justices;
Keeps grace: that keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God's eye what in God's eye he is --
Christ. For Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men's faces.

Gerard Manley Hopkins

Something Fishy Goin' On

I cooked catfish today! Doesn’t that sound impressive? I think it does, especially when you consider who did the cooking. Sure, it tasted like feet, but that’s not the point. The point is I cooked it and it was sanitary. Isn’t that worth something? Aren't you semi-impressed? Remember, the lower you keep your expectations the higher you’ll soar!

Reproach

The response to my commentary on the DTR has been mixed. On the one hand there are those, sad bruised soldiers that they are, who seem to agree with my position. The responses of these individuals are not at all surprising, for they are the very people out of whom my views were built. Then of course there are those who champion the DTR. This is by no means a surprise for, as I already commented, in principle alone the DTR is very sound. I will freely and gladly concede the sound reasoning behind the DTR, for this is the very thing which makes the operation’s failings so oppressive. We are only disappointed because we first expect it to work. Yes, the DTR may indeed work and succeed in certain respects. No doubt it will effectively clamp and restrain a relationship from going where it ought not to go. It may even act as a spur and push people forward into commitment, marriage, children, mortgages and and other such directions. But can real and romantic love come out of such prudent calculations? To my mind love should move with all the speed and force of gravity, which is to say at no fixed of controlled rate what so ever. The DTR’s intrusion is simply mechanical beyond redemption. And so while the DTR may produce something, it is nothing I should wish to consume or be consumed by. That is why I redefined it ‘Destroying the Romance’ and not ‘Destroying the Relationship.’ For the two, quite sadly, are not one and the same.

Reproach
by DH Lawrence

Had I but known yesterday,
Helen, you could discharge the ache
Out of the cloud;
Had I known yesterday you could take
The turgid electric ache away,
Drink it up with your proud
White body, as lovely white lightning
Is drunk from an agonised sky by the earth,
I might have hated you, Helen.

But since my limbs gushed full of fire,
Since from out of my blood and bone
Poured a heavy flame
To you, earth of my atmosphere, stone
Of my steel, lovely white flint of desire,
You have no name.
Earth of my swaying atmosphere,
Substance of my inconstant breath,
I cannot but cleave to you.

Since you have drunken up the drear
Painful electric storm, and death
Is washed from the blue
Of my eyes, I see you beautiful.
You are strong and passive and beautiful,
I come like winds that uncertain hover;
But you
Are the earth I hover over.

Defining the Relationship

Oh the dreaded DTR! Yet another masochistic concept that only Christians would ever think of imposing on themselves. The basic premiss is solid: placing things out in the open, making one’s feelings, intentions and plans clear. However, like many other noble ideas, such as communism and nuclear armament, it fails to work out in practice. A more apropos definition for the DTR might be Destroying The Romance as this is all it ever seems to accomplished. How many casualty stories have I heard from friends? The carnage reeked is immeasurably beyond memory’s horizon. Yet can I name one victory claimed for the DTR? Sadly and assuredly the answer is no. So then why do we persist in this suicide dance? I know not. My only advise, crude and nondescript as it is, is to avoid the DTR like the plague. Advice, I am afraid, which few seem to heed. As for myself, I have personally redefined the DTR and made it my mantra: quite simply it means DON’T TALK RYAN! Truly there is a time and place to shut up. Even I know that.

Attack of the Killer Puppy

My dog Rooney is such a fighter. Nine weeks old and he can already whoop both our cats. Keeran, the one without claws, he just runs over; the poor thing doesn’t have a chance and runs away as fast as he can. As for the one with claws, Arlo, well the dog is more cautious with him. He will usual box at him with his front paws while he waits for a good opportunity to move in and take out the cat’s back legs. But sometimes he will just run in fearlessly, taking a clawing in the process as he overpowers the cat. He has so much fun bullying the cats; when they run away he looks so proud of himself. Sure, sometimes he comes away bleeding, but he doesn’t seem to care. You never hear him whine. Not a whimper.
When we first got the dog the cats tried their hardest to put him in his place and everyone figure Rooney would just learn to leave the cats alone and mind his business like our previous dog Winston. But three weeks later Rooney isn’t backing down and the cats are getting scared. He isn’t even as big as them yet. Wait until he is ten times their size, then they will be really terrified. He isn’t actually violent and he doesn’t try to hurt them. He just wants to play. But, like his namesake, he plays rough. Maybe someone needs to give my dog a red card?

The Sexist Chruch

This morning, while watching CNN, I came across a story which, quite frankly, has me ticked off to the max. The level of idiocy on the part of all parties concerned, including the media itself, is shameful. The end result is negative press for the church, a false and skewed representation of Christian values, and yet more fuel for the secularization fire.

Eighty-one year old Mary Lambert has been fired from her position as Sunday School teacher after 54 years of service at the First Baptist Church of Watertown New York. In her dismissal letter the church quoted 1 Timothy 2:12: "I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent." Now, first of all I think this is a clear misuse of scripture. I am not going to go into the passage here, but I will cover it in my other blog. All I want to discuss for now are the responses off all the parties involved.

The church itself has been folding to public pressure in a way which shows no real respect for the authority of scripture. First they make a bold and controversial statement. Then, when people begin to question their position, they back down, claiming that there are numerous ways to interpret scripture, none of them essentially wrong; a position which implicitly denies the divine authority of scripture (2 Timothy 3:16). God’s is NOT a relativist. Secondly the church is now claiming that Lambert was not fired because she is a woman, but rather for other reasons which they are too “Christian” to name. I have no problem with a church choosing not to publicly embarrass and chastise one of its members. However, this is no excuse for using scripture in vein, without any conviction. If the church does not believe that 1 Timothy 2:12 in fact excludes a woman from teaching Sunday School then they should not use it as a pretense for their actions. Doing so encourages an interpretation of scripture which the church itself has no conviction in.

Mary Lambert herself, in my opinion, has handled the situation in a less than admirable way. In taking this story to the press she has done the Church (notice the capitol “C”) a huge disservice. She very well may have been wronged, but in seeking to expose the mistakes of her church she has opened up the Church as a whole to criticism. Her actions show little thought or concern for the Body of Christ. This is not to say that she should have let the incident slide without comment, but a secular organization such as CNN is clearly not the proper Biblical agent for correction. Also, considering this woman aspires to be a teacher of God’s Word, it is disappointing that in all her comments to the media, she has done nothing to reaffirm the authority of Scripture or clarify why she believes the church’s use of 2 Timothy 2:12 is a misapplication of scripture.

I would like to thoroughly rebuke the Rev. Timothy LaBouf, pastor of the First Baptist Church of Watertown. For some reason I feel he is the most guilty party involved, perhaps simply because he is the church’s pastor and primary teacher of the Word. However, I have little to say about him because he has chosen to remain virtually silent amidst all the discussion, refusing to speak to CNN when contacted. This is a man who has made the study of scripture his profession, he has taken the task on leading a church upon his shoulders, but when the Word itself and his church come under attack he is no where to be seen. In addition to being a pastor, Timothy LaBouf is also a City Councilor. The only statements he has released so far have been in relation to his political interests, as he attempts to re-affirm his ability to administer fairly and without discrimination. In doing so he only makes himself seem weak and indecisive, while inadvertently providing the media with sound bites and quotes to help them transform this story into a broader discussion of the separation of church and state. LaBouf, in his hurried back peddling, has achieved little other than to reaffirm the belief that religious convictions must be maintained privately, unobtrusively, ineffectually, meaninglessly.

Finally I turn my attention to CNN. Most of my complaints against the coverage of the story can be firmly levied against the aforementioned parties. All of them, while Christians, have done little to defend the authority of God’s Word of shed any intelligent light upon the passage in question (1 Timothy 2:12). All they have accomplished is to convey the impression that scripture is a tool of convenience, to be used to support preexisting suppositions. However, CNN has made one choice in their coverage of the story which displays their disinterested in reaching a true understanding of the issue under discussion. Instead of consulting authoritative sources who might comment insightfully upon the meaning of the verse used in Lambert’s dismissal and its application in this particular situation, they have chosen instead in interview people on the street for their opinions. Let us look at the circular reasoning behind such an approach. Lay-people turn to news agencies such as CNN to inform them in an attempt to reach sound, well founded positions. When CNN uses the opinions of the average, uninformed citizen to inform the other uninformed citizens, essential we began to re-consume out own ignorance: intellectual cannibalism. An injection of content is needed, not self-perpetuating lay-saying. By no means do I wish to deny people their right to hold their own opinion, nor am I criticizing them for being ignorant and uninformed. They are only uninformed because the media refuses to inform them. How are they to know if they are not taught?

In all likelihood this will blow-over quickly enough and few will remember the story. However, this does not prevent people from taking away their own disinterred opinions and impressions. This is how people form a bias.

To those select few who know what I was
up to tonight, all I have to say is this:

Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the LORD.
Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.

Song of Solomon 8:6-7

Nerd Alert

So I saw a link for some nerd test on Matt's blog and decided to check it out. Matt scored a 62 on the test, meaning he is only slightly nerdy, which is a surprisingly low score (no offense Matt be you admitted it yourself). Anyway, I decided to take the nerd test and scored a 7, which means that not only am I certifiably un-nerdy, but there is a good chance I am actually cool! It also said that there is a chance I hate nerds, which is way bogus. Nerds are cool! But then again... that becomes kinda circular because if nerds are cool ... and I’m cool ... am I a nerd after all ...? Man, there has to be some kind of syllogism to help work this out... and does using the word ‘syllogism’ make me a nerd? a turbo cool nerd?

A Tribute to Marry Ann

Mary Ann is the name of the head receptionist at my optometrist's office and she is so nice and sweet and cute that I simply must give her a tribute page. It has been more than a year since I last went to the my eye doctor, yet somehow when i went in today she remembered me. Not only did she remember my name and pull my file immediately, but she also got me in to see the optometrist pronto. I shouldn’t have even bothered sitting down, the service was so VIP. When I was done with the eye exam she helped my to pick out a smashing brilliant pair of specs (at a very reasonable rice too) and then, when she noticed I was almost out of contact lenses she smuggled me a couple of sample pairs. (Shhhhhhh! don’t tell the doctor!) To cap it all off, when I got home I received a phone call from her to let me know that I forgotten my debit card there, but she promised to hold onto it for when I come in next. What a happy “accident”! Now I have an excuse to go back and visit my darling Mary Ann. Oh Mary Ann, why won’t you run off with me to paradise? We could find a desert island somewhere and live beneath the pacific sun. But alas, it would never work. We come from worlds to diverse and distant, and so we are forever set apart, tragically yet beautifully removed. If only I was a bit older and more mature, and if only you weren’t happily married with a mortgage and two children. Sigh...

Lately I have been trying to get better at doing my Bible Studies. Since I finished reading through the Good Book for the first time, which was about three months ago, I have been struggling in my attempts to make the Word part of my day to day life. I guess the problems is just lack of direction. Before it was simple, clear and systematic. I was just reading everything in order. Everyday I would pick up my Bible, turn to where I had left off, and simply read on. But now there is more too it. Reading alone isn’t enough, I’m supposed to “study”. Also, I have abandoned the idea of going at it in order, Old Testament through New. But then how do I choose which book to read and what exactly am I supposed to do to study it? Well I tried starting with the Book of James, since it is just about my favorite. But it is just too daunting a book when you don’t even know how you want to approach it. In the end I gave up and decided to start with the Book of Esther. I think it was a wise move. Esther is a really interesting book, but not too heavy on theology. A nice, engaging, fast paced read with some very awesome messages. Every night I would read a chapter in Esther and then afterwards go back through the chapter line by line with the aid of a couple study Bibles, make notes. Now that I’m done with Esther I have moved on to the Gospel of Mark and so far its been going fine, other than the fact that I’m accumulating a lot of notes. So far I’m a third of the way through chapter 1 and have taken almost three pages worth of notes. At this rate it will take me forever to get through the book and I will produce enough notes to wallpaper my basement. I’m not sure if that’s a bad thing or not. Not sure if I should be less precise in my not taking or what? I mean it seems like a lot of notes to be taking. But at least I feel like I’m learning a lot. Oh well. I guess there is no one correct way to BS. Any ideas?

Here is a little poem for all you dog lovers. If you are not a dog lover... I have nothing for you.

The Dog

The truth I do not stretch or shove
When I state that the dog is full of love.
I've also found, by actual test,
A wet dog is the lovingest.

Ogden Nash

In MeMorial

As many of you may very well know I have really been missing having a dog ever since Winston died. I had Winny for over 13 years; more than half my life. He was a great dog, an amazing buddy, and a big part of my day to day life. I had to put him down just before my trip because he was virtually paralyzed and in so much pain. It was a hard thing to do, the last thing i wanted, and not a good parting sentiment when leaving the country. The day after he died I had to walk out of a prayer meeting because I was still so upset and overwhelmed. But it was also good leaving for Africa right afterwards because what really made me miss Winston was not having him there for our day to day routines. Waking up in the morning my first instinct was always to let him out, but then I would remember he wasn’t there. There were so many things I was used to doing with him and they all became sad reminders. Even eating an apple was a miserable occasion; Winston always used to love eating the core. So getting away from the day to day was a good thing. But as soon as I got back I started to miss him again. Anyway, its taken awhile to digest not having my closets companion. But life moves on, which brings me to my latest news, which is that we have a new puppy. It turns out everyone in my family missed having a dog, and so... well... now we have a dog.... Anyway, i will write all about him tomorrow, but not now. I wanted to have a blog entry dedicated just to Winston before I begin singing the praises of the newest, cutest thing on the block. Winston was a great dog: loving, loyal, intelligent, protective, fun, everything you could ask for I a K-9. I think my only real complaint about him was his hair. Man did he have a lot of hair, but he was beautiful, really gorgeous with that thick husky coat. It was just a lot of work keeping him clean. Anyway, there isn’t a lot you can say about a dog I guess, other that he was ‘good.’ Winston understood probably about a dozen words, and I think his favorite was good. He was a very good boy, and I miss him, even if he was just a hunk of fur.

So tomorrow I am supposed to be leading the wednesday night devotional at my church. Kind of a scary prospect! I am not exactly 100% prepared, which should be alright since I have all day tomorrow to get ready and it is only a short 15 minute talk. Still... its an intimidating prospect. So if you happen to read this posting before its too late please pray for me! I know I will be doing a lot of praying, because that is the only way this thing has any choice of working. Incidentally, if you are interested in hearing a grammatical analysis of Paul’s introduction in his Epistle to the Romans come by Markham Bible Chapel tomorrow at 7 p.m. (show up at 6 in you want a free diner). It should be interesting... one way or another...

So here is a Byron poem I have liked for a long time, though I have never been sure why. Read it and enjoy. Oh, and I think it's worth mentionioning that Leorard Cohen did a cover of it. Cool, eh!?

So We'll Go No More a-Roving

So we'll go no more a-roving So late into the night, Though the heart still be as loving, And the moon still be as bright. For the sword outwears its sheath, And the soul outwears the breast, And the heart must pause to breathe, And love itself have rest. Though the night was made for loving, And the day returns too soon, Yet we'll go no more a-roving By the light of the moon. George Gordon Byron, Lord Byron

partY hartY

Yikes! So its been awhile since I posted anything... Guess I'm getting kinda sloppy. Oh well, what can I say, there's been a lot of partying going on lately. Hey! My kitchen party went excellent. The food was actually good which is fairly surprising considering how little planning and co-ordination was involved. But, more importantly, we had a great time and I got to see some excellent people for the first time since gettting back from Africa. The day after that I spent the morning giving out frisbees (or disks as ppl call them) at an Ultimate tournament. The disks had one of those cool graphics that says one thing when you look at it one way and a completely different thing from another angle. They said "The Wages of sin is DEATH / The gift of God is LIFE." Cool eh? And we gave out tracts titled "Ultimate Questions" with them. I think is was a really great idea for an outrach (way to go Dave). Prayerfully those disks will get passed around a lot (literally) and people will see them and think. The day after that was Steve's birthday party scavenger hunt (happy birthday dude). That was pretty awsome. I love a good challenge and some of the tasks were way cool. My favourite was where we had to talk to a homeless person for 5 minutes and give them something. I dicided to share the gosple with a dude and then give him a sandwich. It was a nice rewarding experiance which just happened to earned me some points for the game. Tonight I was over at aMac's for his North Africa presentation. It wasn't quite as rockin' cool as the previous two days, but aMac did a great job breifing us on his trip and it was really exciting to hear what was going on. Also, I got to hang with Mr and Mrs McD which was a good time and a half. So as you can see I have had a really packed fews days, which is why I havn't been posting.What can I say... maybe I'm just too cool for blogging... or maybe not... no... deffinatly not...

coDE 1ooo

So today I was standing around in the kitchen department of Ikea, with my good friend Andy Mac and my Mom, when over the intercome comes a deep and important sounding voices: Attention all staff, we have a code 1000 in full effect. Well, of course I don't know what a code 1000 is but I figured it was either a shoplifter or a MEGA sale. But then, next thing I know, alarms start going off and all the staff start hurrying us out of the building. All of a sudden we've gone from an ultra-violet show room to the side of a grassy kill next to the building and with store employees huring us away from the building, telling us to get in our cars and drive home immediatly. So we dash for the car and cut around the back of the store to avoid the total k-os going on in the main driveway and as we pull out there are Ikea employees in the middle of the road directing traffic, telling us when we have to go, and at that moment a cop car comes barelling down the street heading towards the store. As we pulll further away I can see more and more emergency vehicles arriving. They never told us what was going on, except that the store would be closed for at least 3 hours. My best guess is that there was a bomb threat: what else could clear the place so fast? They seemed far too panicked for it to have been a fire or anything else I can imagine. Anyway, what this all brings me to is the fact that a couple days ago I mentioned that one of the pictures in my Ikea instructionms looked like a frsutraited customer rigging the store with explosives. Mear co-incidence? I think not! Man, you guys have to stop taking me so literally...

Okay, I am gonna make this short becasue i still have a lot of work to do on my kitchen. I'm falling behind schedual and I have to be ready for the big kitchen party! But a few people are a bit confused about the concept behing what's going on, so I wil explain. Ideally everyone should bring an ingrediant of two. No pre-prepaired food! Just raw materials. We will look at everything we have, all of our randome stuff, and see what we can make with it. Whatever we end up with, that's what we are using, and all of it and nothing but it! So dinner is essentially a mystery and will either taste really good or amazingly bad. But either way it will be fun! (I hope!)

This is one of my attemps at a poem. Let me know what you think if you happen to have veiws, opinions or feeling son such things.

blind ASSasin

you're like a blind assassin,
and its not even funny.
you just stand there,
looking stunned and confused;
with me all the while
waiting on nothing.

Well, my kitchen is almost done and I am so excited! Andrew came over today and we worked together on installing the cabinets. It was a bit slow and tedious at times, but all and all a great time full of manly goodness! Yep there were power tools, hammers and tape measurers, the saw dust was flying and everywhere the glorious, prevasive stench of sweat. So much fun. We also watched an instructional video from IKEA which only taught us that kitchen installations are fun for the whole family, including infacts and dogs. Also, I am pretty sure that one of the instruction diagrams showed I a guy who had rigged an IKEA store with explosives; he was probably just frustrated from having to deal with the instruction diagrams himself. Anyway, Andrew and I got a lot done and afterward we headed out to the driving range for some more manlyness. Yep, the only thing more manly that cutting stuff is hitting things. Incidently my golf game needs a lot of work! But at least the kitchen should be done for friday.

sleEpy

Not sure what to write. Very tired, very drained. Desire for sleep is strong. So I will just leave you with a poem and I leave it up to you to decide what i means. All I know is it is beautifully writen. But then it's by Coleridge, so what do you expect? Good night.

Something Childish, But Very Natural

If I had but two little wings And were a little feathery bird, To you I'd fly, my dear! But thoughts like these are idle things, And I stay here. But in my sleep to you I fly: I'm always with you in my sleep! The world is all one's own. But then one wakes, and where am I? All, all alone. Sleep stays not, though a monarch bids: So I love to wake ere break of day: For though my sleep be gone, Yet while 'tis dark, one shuts one's lids, And still dreams on. Samuel Taylor Coleridge

On the subject of theme parties...

bON APPetIT

As you may or may not know lately I have been working on building a kitchen in my basement. It's a bit on the small side and it probably won't get used much, but my parents really wanted one down there and I'm not going to complain if someone wants to give me access to a stove and fridge, even if it does mean a lot of work. Anyway, the kitchen is almost done, and to celibrate I am planing a kitchen warming party and all my friends are invited (which may very well include you!!). So here is the deal: This friaday (July 21st) come to my house around 7:30ish or whenever really. Anyway just come on over and if you can, bring some ingrediants. Not finished, prepaired food. I don't want any of that junk. I want raw unrefined materials. We are going to break my kitchen in by cooking up a storm. I'm not sure what we will end up making; I guess it depends on what people bring. By the way, we will be using everything that people bring! So the recipies might get kinda interesting. And YES, I am prepaired to order pizza in the event of a culinary emergency. Anyway, it should be fun, if not toxic, and my kitchen will get a nice working over in the process!

Happy BiRThday dAD !!

Today was my dad's birthday so... Happy Birthday Dad! It was a pretty decent day really. We went out to eat and had a nice meal during which we talked mainly about how everyone in the middle-east is killing eachother and about the varrying reactions to the conlfict on the internatrional scene. Yep, some nice light dinner conversation. It actually got pretty intense. We weren't yelling at eachother really; we were just yelling at the all polititions who are too far removed to hear or care about what we we saying. I actually stated to wonder if we were disterbing the tables around us. My dad can get pretty worked up about America's selfserving international agenda. For his birthday my mom got my dad an iPod. Yep! My dad - my 58 year old dad about to retire dad- has an 4Gig iPod Nano. A Birthday gift most teenagers would be jelous of. He really seems to like it. So far I havn't heard any complaints, and beleive me, if there were complaints I would here. Now everyone in my family has an iPod. Just goes to show you how media driven we are. Four people and Four iPods. According to Apple we have enough memory between us to store 3,125 songs. Pretty insane eh?

wow! seems everyone has an iPod these days

Blogg the FiRst (1sT)

Well, here we go... my first blogg entry... Yikes!!! No pressure or anything! Let's face it, this is kinda like a first date; if I don't nail this blogg entry then everyone (if anyone) who checks it out is going to walk away and stay away and i will end up writing into a lonely abyss. So, like on a first date, it is my job to be whitty, intellgient, insightful, enterttaining, but never overpowering and above all else devistatingly handsome... well maybe not handsome. Its hard to write handsomly... I think??? However, unlike a first date I don't have to worry that that I'm talking about myself too much, becasue that's kind of the whole point of a blogg. So I guess you should get ready for a whole lot of ME! But then again, like a first date it is important not to just throw everything out there at once, becasue then you just seem desperate. People can smell desperation and it is not a pleasing odour. So I will just start out by telling you about the name of my blogg: Bazooka-Jehosaphat. Well, I was joking the other day with a friend of mine about my deminishing ambitions as a writer, and telling her that I would be ahppy enough writing gum-wrapper comics for Bazooka Joe. But seeing how I'm a Christian and pledged to do everything towards the glorification of the Lord it would have to be Christian gum... i.e. Bazooka Jehosaphat. Not a bad idea eh?... I'm sure you could market them on the counters of Christian bookstores, right next to the Sacra-mints. Or maybe not... Anyway, that's where the name comes from, and its really fitting becasue this is a pretty unambitious writing project. But hey, its better than eating pine cones.